Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize