Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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