I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
