I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
