Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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