alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
