fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
