oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
