if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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