we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
