You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
