We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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