is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
