If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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