I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it hurts more in the daytime
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
