I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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