no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
