I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Damn victory sex feels great
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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