Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
How's work?
Spinning.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize