In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
