I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
