we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
