Everything about him screamed your future.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We left the knife in your bed.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
