We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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