good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
