it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So squirting runs in the family.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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