Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
