youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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