i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
