The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize