hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
