Kiss
Puke
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
