just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
