You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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