What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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