Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
