Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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