ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
