Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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