goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
