Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize