U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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