Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
