Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize