he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
