Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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