Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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