Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize