I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am naked and annoyed.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
