Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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