Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
