I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
no you cant smoke seaweed
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
