he wants to bone in the snuggie
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize