At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
