We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
