You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
