Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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