Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
