Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We are all done wearing pants today
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
