There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
