Whod you bang
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
