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On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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