Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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