I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
