i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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