hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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