You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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