White coat. Heels.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
