Just fell off a train. Bad.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
