The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
