thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
