i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize