when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You work out of a Hotel?
I bet he comes in French.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize