oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
