Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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