So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
