either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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